A Different Christmas Poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.

The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the
sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.

Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.

Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..

To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.

No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.

I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

" So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

Yesterday at breakfast...

"Mommy, why are you taking your time?"

Now don't ask me where he heard this, but he says it often now, my little Pineapple.

Stream of consciousness, four year old style

"I wish we could die right now."

"Why?"

"Because I want to see Jesus."

Well, you will, when it is time for you to."

"I love Baby." (His blanket)

"I am going to put Baby on the rocks, and when I die, I am going to take it to Heaven and put it on a cloud, so I don't fall through!"

hmmmm - looks like we need to keep working on developing his theology!

t

overheard at the kitchen table...

Jalapeno had on a snazzy new shirt for church on Sunday and I overheard this exchange at the breakfast table:

"Daddy said I look 'sharp'".

"Sharp?"

"Not like a knife. It's because of my shirt".

t

A bit of a rant...

...after all, this is my blog, so I guess I can write whatever I want - right?

I am going to say, before you read the rest of this, that some of it might be hard to read. I am not directing this toward anyone in particular - please understand that!! But after awhile of hearing some of the things you will read below, I need to try and help people understand.

Today, a lady who I know meant well, but is not informed, asked me, in front of my beloved children - "Which of your kids are real siblings?" I'm sorry, but did you just hear what you said?!?! They are all real siblings!! Did you mean to ask, "Which of your children have the same birth parents?", because that is a totally different question!

I know that many people don't know "adoption lingo". For those of us who have adopted, we have learned it, and unless we want to hide the fact that we are a family splendidly put together by God's loving hands, then the subject does come up. For myself, I often bring up adoption as a way to introduce the idea that foster adoption is a great way to build a family and that there are many, many wonderful children out there just waiting for their forever families.

I guess that I could do more to educate those who don't "know the lingo" and not just get crazy mad when people ask stupid questions. So here goes:

1) Please think about what you are asking before you say it. How is the adopted child going to feel, hearing the question that you want to ask? Would it be better to set up a time to talk to the adoptive parents to have your questions answered?

2) Also, do you want to ask questions because you really care, because you are interested in adoption for your family, or are you just being nosy? I know that sounds harsh, but how would you feel if someone came up to you and said "Was your daughter/son conceived before you were married?" or some other very personal question?

3) Please don't ask us any questions about our children's past. If we want you to know, we will tell you. There are many, many things that happen in adopted children's lives that are excruciatingly painful. I am sure that you have things in your life that are painful too. Again, how would you feel if you shared them with someone close to you, and then later, you came in and heard that close friend discussing your story with a stranger? Some things, I think you will agree, need to remain in confidence.

4) Don't ask who the "real" parents are, or ask where my kid's "real" mom is. You are looking at her!! I would say that the "real" parents are the ones who nurse the child through an illness, who laugh with them, cry with them... you get the picture. The "proper" way to ask that question is to say "Do you know where her birth mother is?" - but again, why are you asking that question? Please refer back to #'s 2 and 3.

5) Please don't talk bad about my kid's birth parents, especially in front of my kids. If you are anything like me, you have also made some really bad choices in your life. To God, sin is sin. Period. My kids birth parents loved their children - or they would have just sucked them down a sink before they were born. So don't go talking bad about the people who gave my children life, just because they could not make good choices for their children after they were born. My children love their birth parents, just as you love your birth parents, no matter how you were treated as a child.

I think that the bottom line here is to think before you speak. Think about what you are asking. Would you mind someone asking you such a personal question? Would there be a better time to have this discussion? If you were the child, would you want to hear these questions asked over your head, as if you were not standing right there?

I am more than happy to talk to any and every one about adoption and what a wonderful, amazing thing that it can be in your life. But please, be aware. For while it may seem that my kids are playing and not listening, trust me, they are listening.

Adoption is an awesome way to build a family! If you don't feel called to do it yourself (and believe me, don't try it if you are not called!!), then try and find a family that is, and see what you can do to help them out.

If you live nearby and want to get more involved, check out this link for Project 1.27: http://www.project127.com/ Their goal is to fulfill James 1:27 : "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..." We are all commanded to look after the orphans, but not all are called to adopt. There are many ways that you can help adoptive and foster parents to do the job that God has called them to do. Project 1.27 can help you find a way. You can also watch this video to learn more about what they do: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAORLg94x48

And thank you to all of you who have stepped up and helped us in our calling!! We love you and our children love you too!!!

t

Amazing!

So, I have been having a very difficult time with my little Pineapple since Wednesday. He is pretty mad that Daddy is out of town and not coming home, and is taking it out on me in the form of screaming (about everything), hitting and just generally being difficult to live with.

Last night, we had "family night" which is a night where we make pizza and watch new movies in Daddy's office. They love it!

After having spent an hour listening to the little one scream in the morning because he did not want to get dressed (something that he is very capable of doing, but for some reason resists - vehemently), I told said Pineapple that if he did not get his jammies on quickly and quietly, by himself, that he would go to bed after eating a PB&J, no pizza, no movies, no special treats.

Amazingly, he went up stairs, and with a minimum amount of complaining, was back down, dressed in his jammies and ready to go in less than five minutes!! AMAZING!!! Truly - if you knew what I had been through with him for the last week!!

We went down stairs and discovered an email from Daddy for each child. In Pineapple's, Daddy said in part: "I also miss you always obeying Mommy. Are you always obeying Mommy? It makes Daddy happy when you obey Mommy, and when you are nice to your brother and sister, and when you put your jammies on without screaming." (Obviously, Daddy and Mommy have been talking...) But the funniest thing was this: As I read that line to him, he said "Daddy is happy" - because he knew that he had just put on his jammies without screaming!!!

Ah, the joy!!!

t