Thursday, May 14, 2009

Contentedness...Where do you find it?

Why is it so hard to be content? Why do we always want what someone else has? Seems to me, that should be something we conquer well before we exit high school, and yet here I sit, well past high school, and still at times, I find myself wishing...wishing for a leaner body, more hair, a day when everything I plan gets done! A day when I do everything right with my kids, a day when I love my husband up so much, that he never doubts his place in my life. A day when I don't disappoint someone with something that I did (or did not do)...

So what's a girl to do? Let's look at these one by one and try to apply some logic here:

1) leaner body - well, I could walk every day, even if it is on the treadmill and not outside; I could make better food choices, and not justify the yucky stuff I eat. That's a good place to start.

2) more hair - well, not much I can do about that! I just did not get the thick hair gene, guess I will just have to be thankful I have hair!

3) a day when everything I plan gets done - maybe the pronoun is the problem here. What about what God has for me today? Did I take the time to spend some time with Him, this morning, to hear what He thinks is important for the day? "The steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way." Psalm 37:23

4) a day when I do everything right with my kids - Maybe my kids need me to play with them, to curl up and read all day, or to not say, "Mommy's busy, I'll be there in a minute." (ten times). I know that these days are short and before I know it, my children will be out doing what God created them to do...I need to savor the time I have with them right now. And I need to cut myself some slack. Being a mom is hard work! Harder than I ever thought it would be. But I know that when I spend time with my Father, then I am a way better mother to the kids He has given to me.

5) a day when I love my husband up so much, that he never doubts his place in my life - And, look, here he is, at the end of my list again! I really need some help here, Lord! I so want to be the help-mate for my husband that I was created to be... it is my heart's cry.

6) a day when I don't disappoint someone with something that I did (or did not do)... - I think that too often, I let this one rule over the rest. I will drop everything to go help someone else, but does my husband get this same devotion? My kids? Sadly, they do not. So I guess what I am saying is that there may be more disappointment outside my house, but more contentment within. I am sorry (in advance), if I have to say 'no' to you, when you ask me for something, but I really need to get my priorities in order so that I can be the woman of God, wife, and mother that God intended in those long ago days, when He created me. "My frame was not hidden from you, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in your book they were all written, the days fashioned for me, as yet there were none of them." Pslalm 139:15-16

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1 comment:

Allison said...

Go Trina!! Never be afraid to say no, especially if it hinders your priorities.

I'll be praying for you :)