Monday, June 23, 2008

Where has the time gone?

I am working on getting some pictures together to take to our family reunion and came upon this picture of "Yaya" & "Bubba" on their first overnight with us.

When I look at Yaya and see how small she is, I am amazed! She looks so tiny, so young and fragile, that I am amazed. I never really "saw" her that way. She is, as one of her caseworkers called her "a wise old woman" and her personality is so big, that I always saw her as so much older than she was. It makes me really sad, because I feel like not only did I miss out on the first four years of her life, but because I was not seeing her clearly, I also missed out on the time that I did have with her when she was with me, as a tiny, little girl!

So, since there is no going back, I am going to go forward with certain plans to build a relationship with my daughter that is true and strong. Our upcoming "girls trip" will be a good way to start, I think. A good time for some Mommy and Yaya time, with no little brothers demanding my attention. Say a prayer for us, won't you?!

This next picture is of all the kids on Father's Day. They gave Daddy a rolling tool chest, but really, they were just after the box!


Thursday, June 5, 2008

Now I understand!

I never understood why, when I get worried, anxious, grumpy, etc, I end up in the kitchen - not just getting a snack, but more often - cooking! I was making ketchup today (yes, making ketchup, and I don't care if you laugh at me!!) when I realized why I like cooking so much, especially things like canning and baking bread. I am a kinesthetic kind of girl, so standing there, holding a warm tomato in my hand, while I peeled the skin off, smelling that fresh tomato smell and hearing the water boiling on the stove, I was getting info via all of my senses!!

Ahh, I can finally relax and not take offense when people call me "Becky Homeckie", and make fun of me because of what I like to do. I guess that they are just missing out on the pleasure of using all of their senses while serving their families...

Speaking of ketchup, I forgot it is on the stove, and unless my Mom has stirred it for me - it is all going to be burned - aaaaagh!!!