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When I look at Yaya and see how small she is, I am amazed! She looks so tiny, so young and fragile, that I am amazed. I never really "saw" her that way. She is, as one of her caseworkers called her "a wise old woman" and her personality is so big, that I always saw her as so much older than she was. It makes me really sad, because I feel like not only did I miss out on the first four years of her life, but because I was not seeing her clearly, I also missed out on the time that I did have with her when she was with me, as a tiny, little girl!
So, since there is no going back, I am going to go forward with certain plans to build a relationship with my daughter that is true and strong. Our upcoming "girls trip" will be a good way to start, I think. A good time for some Mommy and Yaya time, with no little brothers demanding my attention. Say a prayer for us, won't you?!
This next picture is of all the kids on Father's Day. They gave Daddy a rolling tool chest, but really, they were just after the box!
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