...and on. I spent 30 minutes in the bathroom this morning (I promise, this will NOT be TMI!) with a child on my lap who was losing it. Round and round he went with his circling arguments never getting anywhere, because we all know that going in circles never gets you any place you want to go.
"I tan't be twiet! I told you one million-one hundred tosuand times I don't know how to be twiet! I am TIRSTY!!! I am going to die of being tirsty! I will not be twiet betause I told you I tan't be twiet!!!"
On and on it goes. I was very calm as I sat with him in my arms. Praying for help. And he would not be quiet. I called Daddy, but he was in a meeting, so no help from that quarter.
I thought of all the people who look at my child and say (I have heard them) that all he needs is a good spanking. That we do not have control of our child. That he runs our house. That they would NEVER allow their child to act this way.
Guess what? Sometimes he is out of control....aren't YOU sometimes out of control too? Do you ever have emotions that you don't know what to do with, boiling up inside you and making you want to scream with frustration or anger? I know I do.
So how can we (me included here) expect a five year old that has been through what my five year old has been through in his short life to have it all together? To know how to act all the time and to do it well? I have not been through what he has been through and I don't act like I know I should!
So, back to this morning...as I sat there with him snuggled in my lap (for though his words were angry and his tone harsh, he was snuggled up to me for comfort) I just started to pray out loud for him. For God to use his strength to help people and not hurt them. I prayed for every part of him, his mind, his eyes, his ears, his heart, his feet - the whole of AJ - that God would use him for good things. That AJ would be willing to listen to God, to learn from Him and from Mommy and Daddy, so that he could be used by God for the purpose for which he was created. For while some may think that this child should never have been born, that he was an accident, I know the truth. God has a plan for this little man.
And after I finished praying, I helped him to pray. To ask God to help him. It was the sweetest moment...because as soon as I started praying for him, he stopped his arguing to listen. To listen to me speak words of love and affirmation over him. To hear me crying out to God on his behalf. It was not the way I had hoped to start my morning, and yet, if it happens this way every day, I will be honored to bring my child to the throne!
So, please don't judge him. He is a boy who needs your love and prayers. A boy who God knew before He created him in his mother's womb. A boy who will do mighty things for the Lord because he has the passion and determination to get it done.
I am honored to be this boy's Momma.