Tuesday, July 25, 2017

When the Road Turns

It has been quite a long time since I have written. Months of silence while time rolls forward. I had intended to keep a very thorough journal of our time here, but find that the reality of the homesteading, homeschooling life while caring for elders and living in a camper, does not leave much time or quiet space for writing. Now, as this part of our journey comes to a close, I feel all of the words bubbling up inside of me, pressing and pushing, looking for a way out.

We found out fourteen days ago that we are done here. Steve's sister is on her way to care for their parents and we are free to move on with our life. There is pain in that statement and joy and like a cord tightly woven, there is no picking these two emotions apart. Pain because we have invested so much into the care of these two beloved. We have sacrificed much to be here, and thinking we were here until the end, we have given our all. It has been hard to come to a full stop and look up to see that the sun is still shining, the creek is flowing and the van can leave the property with all five of us inside, oh, there is a strand of joy!!.

This boy loves his birds!
Maybe a little too much!

We find that we can not pull up roots and leave this area. We want to be here to provide respite for Steve's sister, to sit with his parents, and watch Papa tap the kids on the nose or chin with his fist. We want Sweet Girl to be able to develop the friendships she has made and allow the boys to pursue passions they discovered while living here, blacksmithing and beekeeping. We have found community in these rolling hills and we are loathe to leave it, once again. We are weary of saying goodbye.

That said, we are limited in where we can now go and are considering taking a year of rest to let everyone recover from the physical, mental and emotional strain of living the way we have for the last two and a half years. That means no big garden, no farmer's market, and no chickens. As I write this, tears roll down my cheeks because my chickens have been a spot of comfort in the last five years. Yes, I know they are just birds, but several of them have been with us since the beginning.

There is Lady Hawk, sweet little Easter Egger gal with the black beard. She and I spent hours together when she was sick and I was nursing her back to health. Her daughter, Sparrow, is a joy to watch, knowing who her momma is. Dixie, our Barred Rock came a couple of years ago, but I love her spunky personality and "don't mess with me" attitude. And don't forget Speedy Three-toes! She lost a toe when she was a chick and is particularly special to the boys. As I sat this am, listing out all the birds and trying to figure out who to sell and who to send to freezer camp, it became very real to me that they will all be gone soon. That I won't be able to look out the window to see them, or see them all rush to the fence when I come up with the popcorn bowl, knowing a treat is imminent.

We are so very thankful for the family and friends (new and old) who have come along side us in the last two and a half years. We have been richly blessed by their sacrificial giving in both time, prayers and money, which have all worked to meet some of the very real needs we have had here. God has been so very present in our lives as we see the hands of His people. We are well and truly blessed.

Lovely visit from my family last year.

So, stay tuned for more to come, as we turn down this new path of our long journey. You can be sure that there will be much laughter, food and fun!

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